The first step in healing is identifying the lies that we have been believing for so long. Whether the lie comes from the mouth of the abuser, the abuser’s supporters, our family of origin, our children, our pastor, our church, tradition, Cosmopolitan magazine, or someplace else in today’s culture, lies always originate with the devil, the father of lies. (John 8:44). Lies and deceit are his character, and the character of every person within his clutches. Satan’s character does not change – he has always been a liar and a deceiver, and he will always be a liar and deceiver. Sadly, short of a miracle, the character of every person on his team will not change either, because Satan’s character runs through him. We cannot expect an abuser to change his character. We cannot expect an abuser to suddenly be truthful (unless, of course, in the extremely rare cases in which he has a God encounter, has taken himself off the throne of his life and has placed Jesus on the throne). I typically counsel each of my clients that she will know when her abuser is lying because his lips are moving. Satan’s first recorded conversation was with a woman and was fraught with lies and deceit in an attempt to make her question God’s goodness, all to her demise. Satan has been targeting women with lies and deceit to make us question God’s goodness, much to our demise, ever since.
The next step in healing is rejecting the lies and replacing them with God’s Truth. We don’t want to stop with merely identifying the lies – we want to eliminate them from our thoughts and from our hearts, and replace them with God’s perspective, the Truth coming from the Creator of the Universe. Truth is the nature of God’s character, and the character of every person who is filled with the Holy Spirit. The first spiritual weapon that Paul mentions is Truth. Paul says, “Stand firm, then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist…” Ephesians 6:14. Paul is not referring to us telling the truth (although that is clearly something we should do). Paul is referring to God’s Truth as a weapon to battle against the lies, schemes, manipulations, and deceit of Satan and those who stand with him.
In one of his discussions with the Pharisees, Jesus states that the reason why the Pharisees don’t listen to him is because they do not belong to God, and therefore cannot hear him. They belong to the devil, and cannot hear the Truth of God, because there is no truth in them. Jesus called them out as liars, murderers, and sons of the devil, and he called out Satan as the father of lies and a murderer. Lying, Jesus said, is the devil’s “native language.” John 8:31-47. It is the native language of any abuser, too, and of all who espouse Satan’s way of thinking. A woman may have been pleading with her husband for years, trying to open his eyes to the destruction that he has caused, and trying to get him to listen to her and change his ways. But he cannot hear her. It is no use. Like the Pharisees, he belongs to the devil, hook, line and sinker – and he cannot recognize the truth. He is deceived by the lies of Satan, and he even believes his own lies.
However, Jesus tells those who believe him, “If you hold to my teaching, you really are my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32. Free from what? For the woman who has lived with domestic abuse, free from thinking that she is stuck in abuse, free from feeling she is unworthy of being loved, free from believing she is “lesser than,” free from shame, free from guilt, free from the false notion that she will be nothing if she leaves, free from thinking that she can marry a man who rejects God without consequences, free from feeling that God is mad at her, free from PTSD, free from being scared of what everyone thinks about her, free from fear, free from believing she is not good enough for anyone to ever love her…or for God to love her.
Jesus calls himself “the Way, the Truth and the Life.” God’s Truth leads to Life, to abundant Life, to a joy-filled Life, to the Life that God has called you to and designed you for. Let’s get busy rejecting the lies and embracing God’s Truth.
In this series are some of the many lies that women in abusive relationships have believed, and the truth that needs to replace the lie and leads to healing.
If you are a woman living with abuse, as you go through these lies, I encourage you to pray the following prayer out loud. Our voice has power. God spoke the earth into being with his words. When we are fighting a spiritual battle, using our voice to proclaim God’s truth and break agreement with Satan and his lies is imperative. We can feel free to pray this prayer multiple times, whenever you discover a lie that you have believed and now need to reject so that you can heal, whenever you need to be free from the oppression of Satan’s favorite tools – fear, doubt, and anxiety. We have no authority on our own, but Jesus has all authority make Satan and his demons scram, and He has given that authority to us. Satan and his minions have no choice but to obey the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Therefore, we invoke the name of Jesus as we break strongholds and crash through the darkness into the shining light of God’s healing and Truth.
Prayer for Healing: Father, I break agreement with the lie of Satan that (name the lie). I reject that lie and accept the Truth of Your Word that (name the Truth). I repent of my wrong beliefs and for not trusting you. Fill me with Your Spirit, Your Presence, and Your Wisdom. Bring me to see things as You see them, to hear things as you hear them, to think only your thoughts. Heal me and make me whole again. Satan, I rebuke you and reject you and your lies. I cast out you and all your demons, and banish you forever. You have no place in me. I belong to Christ. I cast out the spirit of (unbelief, anxiety, fear, infirmity, lying, doubt, etc.) I command you to leave, in the name and with the authority of Jesus Christ.
In the next article, we will look at the lies women believe about God, and the Truth that sets them free.